and the sentence trails off

to be continued...

2009-03-21T08:27:00.000-07:00

realityunfolds.tumblr.com

post secret sundays

2009-03-08T09:39:00.000-07:00

every morning i check the post secret website...

weird all the secrets are just streets away from me in this shit hole town.

that secret was a wake up call for me...

it made my feel like maybe I will have something better after high school.

more secrets

2009-02-18T02:35:00.000-08:00

health warning: adopting bridget jones's lifestyle may seriously damage your health

2009-02-16T18:50:00.000-08:00

Damn that's the tag line to the movie? hahah

I am just like this bitch except 12 years younger... perhaps that would be a SERIOUS health warning.

"All women keep score only great one's put in it writing."

I believe I may have a new favorite movie!

friday the 13th

2009-02-14T11:46:00.000-08:00

Talking to Britney, I realized she knows me better than I know myself, like I will explain what is happening in myself and than I explain something else and she connects the two...

NINE DAYS UNTIL I SEE HER :D

around 10 I got a call, from Anna saying she was in Downtown Silver spring, I hadn't seen her in months (or it felt like it... it was probably like a month) ha with Bethany and some others, we went and saw Friday the 13th, I saw the intro than I slept through the rest almost all of it, but I liked the intro.

I got to see Bethany the day before after I was done with school she didn't have to work on Thursday so we went to Silver spring and caught up.

I realized I don't need much or many people in my life, I don't get along with many girls and I like spur of the moment plans better & I am a lot different than I was last year.

Today is Valentines day, I really haven't had time to think about it so it doesn't bother me, if you don't think about something it won't get to you. I missed out on a lot of Holidays this year... it's weird.

My 17th birthday- people bailing in & out plans changing up until a couple hours before, ended up going to hooters in Chinatown with Brittany, Sami, Rachel,Emma, Alex, Kady, Gabby, Brennan, (& some random boy showed up Gabby thought was my type... he has really full of himself.) Hula Hooped on a chair, in front of all the people that hang out at hooters on a Friday night.. got cheesecake sent to my table, the man who sent it had a 20 year old son... (The night was filled with awkwardness everyone trying to get to know everyone & stuff, when I just met the kids from school two weeks before...) left hooters went to Arlington with Sami, Rachel & Brittany. Went to I hop in the middle of the night/ morning. Kiley bailed on everything because her mom had some hate against me, because I ride the metro and go to concerts. She felt bad and we went to red robin with Tree, Kyle, Anna, & Keelin like a month later.

Halloween- Forgot Halloween was coming up until Kady & I were at her house one day after school & we saw ads for it or something. We ended up that day just saying whoever from school wanted to come over could come over after internships, Kady & Alex came over after theirs Rachel & Sami came over too... than they left and came back in the morning, Carlos, Jonathan, & their friend Ellington (no idea who he was, never saw him again) came to my house from dc at 3:30 am in a cab. hahah, we watched the heathers and I fell asleep. I woke up, and lots of Chaos I felt like everyone was their for awhile, I wanted some space, I felt like I had to please everyone since it was my house, I just wanted to take a bath and go shopping. Just gave up and let everyone do what they wanted... but it was one of my favorite days of the year? Bummed I didn't get to buy a costume or anything, I love playing dress up.

Christmas- So busy with schoolwork and my internship and life in general, I didn't realize how close it was, did a lot of shopping before thanksgiving for my friends, than Christmas eve eve had to run around milestone shopping and trying to figure out what to buy my family with Sophia. Forgot to help decorate the tree, didn't make any cookies because I just wanted to make a gingerbread house... than my dad got one for like $50 from some bakery. Christmas morning was weird, than my grandma showed up later in the day that made it better.

Valentines day- I remembered it when I got a package in the mail from my aunt on Wednesday, it made me happy because she always sends me a big valentines day package and she has a lot to deal with right now, she doesn't need to do it ever, especially with her husband having cancer and her daughter planning out a wedding, and her future son in laws dad dying within the past month unexceptedly If it wasn't for the package I probably wouldn't have remembered.

So overall I am lucky for the people I have in my life, I don't need many more. I wish I could see them more often.

this thing isn't linked anywhere

2009-02-13T17:19:00.000-08:00

& it gets lurked mad hard...

after my internship i went to my secret garden to clear my mind.

because this week needed some thinking over...

i come home and i have a package on my doorstep, two valentines day rubber ducks.

it made everything a lot better.

10 ten days till i see my best friend!

Sarah texted me saying she got the package I sent her in the mail, she was really suprised! :)

I like to brighten up other peoples day...

I feel like I need to do more of it.

Resolution check up time!

2009-02-05T02:55:00.000-08:00

bold= working on successfully!

1. Graduate (June 14Th, 2009!)

2. Move out

3. Get into college

4. Learn to walk in heels

5. Read more often

6. Sew more often

7. Get my licence (may)

8. Loose Weight

9. Remove carbonated drinks. (Iced coffee, Gatorade, water, Cranberry juice)

10. expand my vocabulary

11. exercise more (cliche)

12. work on time manage management

+i now have two alarm clocks in my bedroom

13. do more photography

14. go on a road trip- stealing cars with friends on Saturday nights is just a fun!

15. Mail more often to post secret

16. Get better using Microsoft excel

17. Gain confidence

18. Become more knowledgeable on sports & cars

20. Clean up my foul mouth

21. become better with making eye contact during conversations

22. eat an apple a day

new ones.

23. do volunteer work

24. learn to cook more things, & have friends over for dinner like I did last year

25. I need to find personal time like 20 mins. to think life over, it probably wont happen each day but twice three times is probably too much...?

running myself into the ground/ granting everyone else's every wish/ living every week like its shark week isn't good for me! (and the people around me.)

-getting home from school at 5

- doing more homework

- I already do homework at lunch & during classes

is kind of turning into an endless cycle of torture...

I am also all about journal writing & reflecting now... but the only time i get to do it is on the metro, that's my "spare time to think"

!!!

2009-02-05T02:00:00.000-08:00

been tossing & turning for an hour,

the thought of being 12 hours away from my house next fall

because only schools up their are where i have a chance

makes my tummy churn

& makes me not want to learn at all.

give up

the perks of being a wallflower

2009-01-29T23:06:00.000-08:00

I have read this book far too many times.. but before I forget this quote

"I guess I could tell people about punk rocky and walking home from school and things like that. Maybe these are my glory days and I'm not realizing it because they don't involve a ball."

one of the few books I can read over & over again.

yess

2009-01-25T12:15:00.000-08:00

write as i was thinking of what to title this my mom walked in here with a black marble compostion book, SCORE!

so i realized thinking is only good for me personally with legit pen & paper...

Friday- I got some exciting new from my father about something in Mid-June.. get pumped, I know I was when I found out. GNARlington, than Genevieve's house, love it their its always exciting and welcoming :) left early and went straight to bed.

Saturday- SAT test in the morning, took the test at high school number 1, realized high school number one is my favorite of all three, its the way high schools are supposed to be... old, over-crowded, dirty, and focused on sports teams, being with kids you had known since kindergarten, I wish I didn't ever have to leave that one. just an observation before the test. Spent the day at the mall with my mom, I did a ridicious amount of shopping.. not sure why? Rachel & Genevieve came over around 8 went out they slept over.

okay cool..

I need a nap now

We are today's secrets and tomorrows headlines

2009-01-22T17:24:00.000-08:00

I will put more up here when I find one's that are relevant,

I love Post Secret

It's hard to swim in such a shallow place

2009-01-21T08:21:00.000-08:00

& I would do anything to go back to public school these days...

uncomplicated. we both know i can be unpredictable.

2009-01-17T04:35:00.000-08:00

My three biggest fears(In order)-

being alone forever
failure
heights

So, I applied to George Mason a few days ago. I am not sure why? I guess it's because I can't apply to just one school. VCU is my main choice, after visiting a friend during winter break who goes their when he was home, he always had seemed to really like it. Also, Richmond is far enough away that I won't have to deal with anyone from past high school's they are all set on going to Towson or University of Maryland. I am applying other places because when I wanted to apply just to three schools my friend Amy was like "... I guess that is an okay start" So now I have a list of about six I plan on applying to. I don't like when other people tell me what the fuck to do with my life, especially when they aren't being supportive about it. Yesterday I was talking to Jamaal who I miss a lot, he already has gotten offers from three colleges, I told him what I wanted he has been the only one to sound super supportive of me... everyone else kind of dipped out, once I switched schools...

I feel like if I don't get into VCU biggest fear number #2 will be coming true... My sister always has had her entire life planned out she knew which college she wanted to go when she was in 6th grade, and she is now at that college... happily ever after, her only words of wisdom to me where "You aren't going anywhere Shannon no one will want you." The first day of my internship my cousin took me shopping at pentagon city and I thought damn maybe the old bitch is finally changing ways, just to get lectured in the car about how she only took me out because she thought I was full of shit & made up my internship, & how awful I am for having to go private school, she topped it off with "Yeah right next year you will still be living at home, You are going to college." She's such a cunt, maybe that's why ever since I was 10 I used to tell my parents, "I don't want to be Beth when I grow up." 40 years old never married, or had even been in a long term relationship. My favorite thing to do is prove people wrong, so I hope I can do it!

Today, I am going to the Jammin Java to see the Downtown Fiction. Scene Trash Magazine is realising issue #29 at the show. Static Magazine is also releasing it's first issue at the show. (I am not sure if either of them know they are both being released today..) I am happy to be a writer/ photographer for both magazines! (the Downtown Fiction is in both magazine, those boys have the best personalities) After the Jammin Java I am going to Jenn's house and we are watching movies and eating cupcakes and I am spending the night down in Woodbridge. Tomorrow we are going to MOSHington DC to see USHER & Beyonce! that shit is more legit than warped tour.

I am grateful to not be sick anymore, that 103 degree fever and ear infection and whatever else was plaguing me is gone. Jonathan got me a hoodie yesterday its super comfy. All I wear are oversized clothes with spandex and boots, Pullovers and dunks when im lazy!

103 degree fever & things are starting to make since...

2009-01-13T17:44:00.000-08:00

just a little too late perhaps?

discussing life with jenn a couple days ago she said - "idk girly, i think you have me beat in the masochism department for realz"

masochism-noun- the tendency to derive pleasure, esp. sexual gratification from one's own pain or humiliation, the enjoyment of what appears to be painful or tiresome: isn't their some kind of masochism involved in taking on this kind of project?

than i was talking to Britney and i said i hate when people are up my ass about anything esp. giving me attention, & i dunno maybe i liked being ignored if that sounds odd? she told me it wasn't.. that i like my breathing space

it's great to know that someone cares... but i am okay doing things by myself and for myself, but having company is always good.

i wish i could have come to this self-actualization sooner..

how to make every morning AMAZING

2009-01-12T13:05:00.000-08:00

before going to bed drink sleepy time tea
when you wake up blast - xgumbyx (you wont be able to wake up slowly because chances are you will only be able to find one song)
when you wake up drink blueberry tea
go back upstairs blast 3oh!3 and work out to get the blood flowing. (something about 3oh!3 makes you want to move... a lot! oh and if you have a workout ball those are super fun)
shower time!
when getting out of the shower put on breathe Carolina while fixing your hair & doing your make-up, i dunno why but it seems like the right kind of music for this step
when picking out clothes & packing up your obnoxiously big tote bag listen to four year strong to get the blood flowing again
in the car listen to the acacia strain, to get out any remaining rage before facing the day

that's what I did this morning and it ruled. step #4 was definitely the best, hooray endorphins.

kick start my mornings :)

i live every week like its shark week...

2009-01-10T17:36:00.000-08:00

Friday night / Saturday morning gnarly is about all i want to say about it..

oh i ended up at a go-g0 very very early Friday night that was interesting!

i knew my limits & Amanda drove me home from the boys apartment in Towson, instead of going to the all night dance party with the girls in Baltimore.

I come home & my mom and dad both sit me down the couch, that's not good... my parents aren't the lets sit down and have a talk kind of people,

my stomach is still fucking flipping from what i found out.

"I really hope you're okay. This is why I wish we lived closer. I'd come kidnap you."

I have the some of the finest friends...

I just remember I got suspended on Friday, fuck

yesterday marks that

2009-01-05T03:38:00.000-08:00

I have lost 51 pounds since may, So I did complete my new years resolution from last year. I just forgot what it was than I remembered it yesterday, woohoo?

and i didnt sleep a wink last night!

2009-01-05T02:35:00.001-08:00

I am sad that this winter break is over, It best two weeks of this year. I started out the break by getting to see On Broken Wings with Rachel, it was good I never go to Sterling anymore so It was great getting to see everyone.

The next day was going to Baltimore for Sami's 18th birthday celebration Genevieve, Rachel, Sami, Jessica & I went to Fletchers to see some locals and than to the hard rock cafe. I realized I am much more of a DC person than a Baltimore person.

Than I got to catch up with Sophia and we finished up our Christmas Shopping which is something we should NEVER put off until two days before thinking we would have passed the holiday rush by doing that.

Christmas eve I had to deal send in a lot of school work but than I got to go to the annual Christmas eve party which I love and I got to wear the amazing dress Kady picked out for me weeks before when we went shopping in pentagon city. I think I like getting to get dressed up more than going to the party, but the party was good, I got to see Amy which is always fun because she is away at college I miss being able to run across the street to her house when I want to get away.

Christmas was exciting because my mom suprised my dad with having my Grandma show up at our house, she had not come down here in 5 years, I don't think I had seen my dad that happen in an equvialent amount of time.

The next day Amy came over and we exchanged Christmas presents, she got me a Betsey Johnson make-up bag (my friends know me so well, & my dad said he should start to buy stock in that woman) I gave Amy a haircut! :) Than I did some promo's for the downtown fiction after their show at the Jammin Java, Christine & Karlyn & myself stayed for their Chipotle party its amazing how huge those boys are for not having a label. They did a cute acostic set and than Christine interviewed them, after the interview the three of us went to what was left of the second Jammin Java show, the friday night boys were play it was a nice place, I should go their more often since it is so close to my school and everything. We just sat and talked to one of the va supported bands, since most of them were their

The day after this I went back to DC with anna and kristi. We went to lunch at Anna's dad's bar in Dupont than shopping in Chinatown at Urban Outfitters, I got another pretty dress yay! Than me and anna explored around dupont circle and went to some cute little bookstore and cd stores. It was a fun chill day, I liked being back in DC i don't like to stay too far away from their

The day after this was my adventureous couple of days with Christine. I met up with Christine in Towson and we left for Delaware (I get out of the car and the first thing I am told is we are going to a hotel party tonight). We got to the Harmony Grange and I met some of her friends they are all really nice, than we left the Harmony Grange because ea I will call him since she calls him db wanted mcdondalds, all I knew was that we were leaving real quick (this was all full of suprises!) We get back so ea can play and that band was good, than Four Year Strong Played, it was the best dance party everr. Lots of bros kept on jumping in on our dance party and filming it, I need to see if any of them ever posted it on youtube haha. Than we all kind of split again, Set Your Goals was amazing! I can't wait for them to tour again this summer. After the show we go to "Downtown Wilmington" I didn't know Delaware was big enough to have a downtown with skyscrapers and what nott. So I did learn something during break! Goodtimes. We ended up getting back to Christines house at 230 am and than the next day went around Baltimore to little cd and bookstores my favorite would have to be atomic books, which now carries scene trash! It reminds me of the Kid Robot store that is in soho. Than we went to Lancaster, security their was lame and I ended up back at my house at 5 am :)

NEW YEARS EVE- Even though the year ended on a good note, I was happy for a fresh start and for 2008 to end. I went to Genevieve's house with Rachel we played Rockband all night, and went to the playground and bounced around on the beds and danced and listened to silly music, I loved every minute of it. I had never played Rockband until that night and I understand why kids get so addicted to videogames!

the next morning I woke up and Genevieve was getting new glasses so just me and rachel were their, she had to go to her cousins birthday party at 1 so that is when we all left. I went to Sandra's house/ all over woodbridge around 3. When I got to Sandra's she was doing a Promo shoot in her Basement with Roberto & Kevin and Jenn was their. I still don't really know who Roberto & Kevin are but they seemed pretty funny. (I usually don't know who half the people I am with are.. ) I was more intrigued by the sketchy guy in the long black trench coat I saw out the window. When Roberto & Kevin left (I am guessing that is their names since their were two of them? and not the name of the band?) we went to see jenn's house and i was mean mugged by a 7 year old tony hawk, than we left and went to see jc! I hadn't seen jc since warped tour and sandra hadn't seen him since metal fest. weekend, he goes to vcu so I am kind of envious of that. Than we left jc's house to go see tree and i met his friend davion, that davion kid was one of the funniest people ever. and he gave me a sweet nickname- shaniquill yeahyeahhh :) than sandra jenn and i stayed up until 2 talking about life it was great. I need to move to woodbridge i can just live in sandra's basement.

than the morning after that i was supposed to see someone who i miss =/ but it didnt happen sandra's friend kenny came over than we went to some kids house whoose name I still don't know and his friend was their who was nice and we played lots of rockband and than we went to fiveguys and some guy in his OLDER 30's got my number, yuck yuck. so jenn & I went back into five guys and said that this was the best date she ever took me on, he was very intriguiged by that and left me alone. AMEN :) than brittany came to my house around 6 & we went to union station that night! union station is such a sweet spot in dc I should chill their more often. we went to j rocketss and the mall in union sation was closed so we walked outside, and went to the capatail and lots of other stuff, we walked really far because we found another metro stop and we looked at it and we had walked past three of them.

When getting off the metro at midnight I ran into my best friend from kindgardern until 7 grade, it was really awkward. She didnt know who I was than when she did she started freaking out and hugging me and gave me her number, and yelling to all her friends who i was i am not sure if i supposed to text her, because she still lives down the street from me... i dunno it was weird. i think she was drunk, it wouldn't suprise me.

the next morning we woke up around noon went to pentagon city (the best mall on the metro rail) and shopped for forever, than we went to lakeforest mall to shop more haha. I love DC :)! I was sad to see britney leave, she works too much! but we are trying to plan that we see eachother once a month or something like that because she s one of my favorite people

so this was the best break ever. I got to see so many people that I care about a lot!

I feel like i didnt sleep well last night because every night I was sharing a bed with someone I wasn't used to sleeping alone, but I am a nerd and I missed school and kady and gabby and our coffee shop walks and talks which is what i am going to go get ready for

i am excited for what 2009 has in store for me :)

quote of 11/29

2008-12-10T00:33:00.000-08:00

'If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn't be human you'd be a gameshow host'

Also written as a memo in my crackberry like my pervious posts, I believe its from the movie heathers. So many quotes its insane..

i want to be the next bill gates...

2008-12-10T00:20:00.000-08:00

Things to do before I die

1. Get my cosmotolgy liescene
2. Go on tour
3. Open a coffee shop acoustic venue
4. Open a boutique
5. Open a regular venue
6. Publish a book!
7. Have a record label (this seems more and more confusing)
8. Manage a band or more
9. Meet Tommy Lee!
10. Book shows
11. Get my piercing liescene
12. Read the entire bible
13. Get a meaningful tattoo
14. Learn to play an instrument or two
15. Skinny dip
16. Weigh 99 lbs again
17. Find that forever kind of love & have it be mutual
18. Start a clothing line
19. Open a salon.
20. Create an energy drink
21. Create a tour
22. This idea is too good to post anywhere, it was something me & someone who means too much to me thought up around 3 am one night when talking about our futures..
23. Meet macuauly culkin
24. Create a festival
25. Find a venture capatlist that will give me $$ for all of these wicked ideas..

I need to find what it is waiting out there for me..

2008-12-04T17:19:00.000-08:00

since may i have...

+lost over 40 lbs.

+made friends at school (i've never done that at all my high schools)

+ got a job

+/ - quit the job

+ starting writing for an awesome magazine

+ have a great internship

+ gotten to interview a lot of amazing bands

++ go to interview the one band ive always wanted to interview (the devil wears prada)

- stayed single

+ not settled for any guy

+/- kissed two boys on record labels

+ lived in the moment

+ went to bamboozle

+ made a lot of new friends (sandra has to be one of my favorites!)

+ learned the metro system like the back of my hand

+ got my learners

+ got my photography published in a book

+ had my photography in three art galleries

+ drank a lot of coffee

+++ learned to control my anger

+ learned to do things for myself & not for other people

+ started a band!

+ mailed a secret to post secret

We've got all the time in the world to get a grip on the fact that we don't last but right now I want to watch the tide roll in with my best friends

2008-09-14T11:05:00.000-07:00

Its funny, the song title I chose for this post because i HATE all time low, I felt it was fitting for this post. Last night I was talking to andrew who is one of the few people I still talk to that I met freshman year, what is even weirder is that we never even went to school together yet he still remains in contact with me. He said something about us seniors and how we aren't doing anything fun. and it actually hit me that I really am a senior. I am so busy, rushing through everything and trying to be finished to enjoy anything at all. Maybe its because so switching high schools so often that I never had "typical" high school life. Maybe its now that my high school only has 60 kids, no sports teams, no prom, no homecoming, none of that, but whatever it is I'm not sure how I feel about it all. High School has never been a place for me so I guess why should it start to be senior year? I dunno, but I don't like being unsure of my emotions.

There's no more love, trust respect or loyalty. Product of my surroundings

2008-09-09T15:29:00.000-07:00

More and more each day I realize how fake everyone around me is, not only the teenagers in my neighborhood but their parents are just as I can't wait to get the fuck out of Germantown. 366 days & I will be 18 and out of this fucking place for good, but hopefully before then, like this summer.

I start my internship on friday, im scared but excited.

first post

2008-09-04T16:32:00.000-07:00

This has been a week of Firsts, and I am glad it is almost over. Starting my new school, is a lot and I am still adjusting. I have met a chill group of people, a lot quicker than I ever did a Clarksburg, and Seneca was all of the same people I had known since kindergarden so I didn't have to worry about meeting new people. I have already missed my first day of school, which I am really mad at, I was actually really sick, but I wish I wasn't. Missing School is the reason I got sent to this one. I am trying actually show up this year. I've realized I HAVE matured a lot, and going to this school I think will just help that even more.

What I like about this School:

Open Lunch
TWO winter breaks
Metro access
having an internship (I have my fingers crossed I get the one I want)
Lots of field trips
Trips to mexico and to Arizona
less classes, longer time
that is was once an old house (I think its pretty)
I can bring my laptop

What I dislike about this school:

It being far away
school not ending until 3:30
having middle schoolers in my ceramic's class
having to share a building with middle schoolers
having all of my classes in the basement
each minute you are late you stay after a minute (waste of time)
instead of detention of suspension you get billed for your mistakes
some kid who things he's a fire fighter (I've never disliked someone so quickly)
That I got assigned a six page paper my first day
They never gave me a printed scheldue they just told me my classes, how am I supposed to remember all of that

I guess that is all for now and I should go start on my homework.